about actually making a commitment to...anything

I'm pretty wretched when it comes to sticking to something. Examples: weight-loss programs, work-out programs, blogging, journaling, promises to keep in touch, not going to starbucks every morning plans... let's just say my will power on a scale of 1-10, 1 being non-existent, 10 being total commitment is an average and ever-wavering 3. 5 in a good week. But I'll give this one to me: I am AWESOME at taking the step to write down, pledge, plan etc a new commitment to destroying an old demon or starting a new positive movement. I'm a champ. And usually that step takes me about five days, and then it's off the wagon yet again. Well, folks. Here she goes again.

I commit to:

a better me. 

Maybe I'm better in generalities than in specifics. Though, they do tend to emphasize making small specific goals as steps to a larger goal. The thing is, I've committed to those awesome little baby steps so many times I lost sight of why I was even keeping a food journal or writing affirmations at the ends of journal entries. What do the small steps matter if I've lost sight of the big picture. In the end, don't we all just want to be happy? What if we forget that that really might just be it? I've gotten back into yoga recently. At the end of class, we usually chant om 1-3 times. One Saturday morning, Roxianne, my favorite instructor, told us we would be chanting om namah shivaya. I bow to Shiva. The true identity. The inner-self. We are nothing if not ourselves. I bow to Shiva.